Good morning Phoenix!
It’s Sunday, but The Walking Dead won’t be on. (Yeah, I know Fear The Walking Dead starts
back up, but it just ain’t the same)
To help tide you over till TWD returns in October, and we
find out who got Lucilled, I present to you 7 scientific reasons a zombie
outbreak would quickly fail.
1. They have too many natural predators. Humans are at the top of the current food chain (no pun intended for us vamps). Humans are simply too smart and too well armed for any wild being to hunt. Consider the poor zombie. It lacks every single advantage that has kept humanity from being eaten to extinction. It wanders around in the open, it can’t use weapons, it can’t think or use strategy. It doesn’t even have the sense of self-preservation to run and hide when it is in danger. Think small. Insects are a major pain in the ass for living humans, and the ability to swat away flies and having an immune system is the only thing keeping us healthy in many cases.
.
2. They can’t take the heat. They’ll rot away faster. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this one….
3 3.
They can’t handle the cold. Unregulated cold does awful shit to formerly
living things. This zombie killer is the
simple fact that the human body is mostly water, and water freezes. They’ll be rigid zombie-sicles.
4..
Biting is a terrible way to spread a
disease. The successful (?) diseases
have clever ways to invisibly spread from victim to victim. The flu has killed tens of millions because
it floats through the air. The black
plaque was spread by fleas and vermin, etc.
Not a single one of them requires the infected to get within biting
distance to spread their infection.
Sure, STD’s work that way, but that’s only because the infected don’t
appear infected. Nobody is going to have
sex with a zombie.
5 5.
They can’t heal from day to day damage. Having a fully-functioning central nervous
system lets us know we’ve been damaged by causing us to feel pain. Zombies are clumsy. They’ll walk into doors and helicopter blades
without a second thought (or even a first thought) about what kind of damage
they are suffering.
6 6.
The landscape is full of zombie proof
barriers. Their lack of coordination,
along with the inability to see in the dark (we haven’t had any infrared
zombies yet, but holy shit! I call dibs
on the idea) is going to spell the doom of countless zombies in any area
outside of a parking lot. They don’t
know how to find roads or bridges. They
don’t know how to go around mountains or cross major rivers. Even if they did figure that one out,
nightfall would result in most eventually walking into rivers, over cliffs and
off of bridges.
7 7.
Weapons and the people who use them. Humans are good at killing other things. They’re so good at it they’ve made other
species cease to exist without even trying.
Add to the mix the sheer numbers of armed rednecks and hunters, and the
zombies don’t stand a chance. There are
over 14 million people hunting with a license in the US. At a minimum, that’s an armed force the size
of the greater LA area. The whole reason
hunting licenses exist is to limit the number of animals one is allowed to
kill. Remove that restriction and
everything in the forest would be dead by sundown. Plus, zombies are pretty much designed for
failure. Their main form of reproduction
is also their only source of food and their top predator. If they want to eat or reproduce, they have
to go toe to toe with their number one predator every single time. That’s like having to fight a lion every time
you want to have sex or make a sandwich.
Have a fangtastic day and don't worry about zombies! <3 Brock V"""V
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